Respect Your Commitment

You ever look back at something and think "What the f**k was I thinking?"

That's how I feel when I look at that pictures. At the time, I thought I was slightly larger than I appeared. Emphasizes on slightly. I knew how far I had come in theory. I had lost over 100 pounds, tightened up the loose skin, built muscle, etc. But I wanted my bare physique to look as good as I felt I did, clothed.

I couldn't really and truly grasp how much hard work I had really done. Working out was just a daily thing for me. A daily part of my regime that I enjoyed doing and never thought I would give up. I knew the difference my body felt when I started my day off with a good lift or run. It was an everyday activity for 6 years. [side note: it didn't start out as an everyday activity- it built up to it over 3 or 4 years and was consistently active everyday for 3 years].

I never thought I wouldn't be. I never thought I would let myself go. Again.

I should see if I have an actual before picture. One from when I was my heaviest. When I find one, I'll edit this post or do one with it.

But at anyrate.

I haven't gained back all the weight, but I was closer than I ever knew, at the end of my pregnancy. And even after I received the clearance to workout again, I didn't go back immediately. And again- immediately going back to working out was something that I thought I would do. Immediately. But the tires of new parenting got to me and I pushed it aside. For as long as I could.

When I was ready to get back into it again, I went through a trial period of finding what it was that would keep my attention everyday. Because as we know, the motivation will pass and when it does you still have to grind it out. So I rather grind it out doing an activity thatI love, over one that's just alright.

So I started at the gym at my apartment complex. It's a great gym. Has more than any other complex I've lived at. Smith machine, free weights up to 85 lbs, step ups, rope, etc. But it didn't stick. It wasn't grasping my attention. I even paired it with a Biggest Loser Challenge that my friend was running AND a 16 week challenge that my nutrition company hosts. Even with all that, I didn't get back into the swing of things.

After that ended, I went back to my trainer of 3 years. He was the one that took my loose body after loosing 100 pounds and molded it into a lean, avatar of a regal woman. Honestly- it was the best my physique looked EVER. And he held me accountable, always. But even that wasn't sticking. Wasn't vibing. I was shocked.

I then checked out a friends gym and passed.

I committed to my first love, yoga, for three months and quickly cancelled my membership at the end.

I tried my 2nd love at home HIIT workouts with the lady that got my body in shape pre trainer. Hard pass.

Nothing. was. working.

But I needed a change. I needed to get moving again and get my cells feeling their best.

So I just recommitted. As simple as that. I recommitted to myself that I was going to get moving everyday. I was going to simply get moving every morning. And it just clicked. It finally clicked and my lightbulb went off and I just did it.

I received a huge bonus at work and purchased a jogging stroller. I said to myself- if that's what you're going to spend your bonus on, YOU BETTER WORK. So I started going on morning runs with my daughter. She's always up at 6:30am-ish and we used to come into our bed and play for an hour so that I could be lazy. But that was the sweet spot time to get the workout in, especially with the weather here, so we did it.

And she enjoyed them. So that kept me going as well.

All of this has helped me to realize that I was freaking crazy for EVER downplaying the work I had done previously. I was f**king crazy for every not giving myself credit for the commitment

I had given to getting my body looking like that. And freaking insane for ever feeling bad about the small amount of belly fat I had in my one and only photoshoot at that time. Knowing that my stomach area is the hardest to get lean. And good and well knowing that I did get lean enough to see that 6 pack forming in 2013. How dare I disrespect myself like that!

Well, here's to round two. A place I never thought I'd be. Dropping another 60 pounds.

When my body returns to a physique near that one, I will treat it like gold and respect that process!

In health,

Monica

#fitness #health #baby #mommy #fitforfall #workout #postpartum #respect #process #100pounds #weightloss #weightloss #postbaby #babyweight